The good lord is in trouble!
I will be posting old stories this next 2 wks since the monsters are on vacation..
Birdman..(which describes him to a tee) is obsessed with ..you guessed it..birds. One day in his front yard a daring bird flies and hits the little lad in his chest and falls to his fate in front of birdman. Birdman with such hungry in his eyes picks up the little fella and quickly runs into his house to show his mother what just hit him. Birdman's mother in horror encourages him quickly to run back outside and set the birdie free...knowing what birdman can do to this poor bird. Birdman complies with his mothers wish and runs back outside (she quickly follows) and birdman throws the bird...yep, wrong direction ...on the ground and stomps on it to show his mother the guts....
Birdman is a very disturbed child and that's why he goes to my school. We eventually discover that his mother has been teaching him about Jesus and how he lives in birdmans heart. Which is a great attempt to try and help him with the "killing things" if I shall be so blunt. So it seem to help some with getting him to let the poor bugs free out of his clutch "Jesus made bugs for us to share!" ok...I didn't mind this Jesus stuff, as long as his mother was fine and she started it...great! He did good at listening with the word jesus somewhere in the sentence..nice ..working with him was just a little easier.
We're camping (yes we even take the autistic kids camping for 3 days and 2 hellish nights) and birdman and I are hiking...he see's some birds that he wants to chase and slip...*CRASH** Birdman is down.....
Birdman....(oh and i quote) "Fuck....youuuuu jeesssuuuussssss"..echo..echo..
tons of crying in the middle of the woods
me....(trying not to fall over and cry laughing myself) "Birdman calm down..your ok"
birdman.."why did jesus do this to me?"
me...."uh...birdman..you slipped on the rocks...it's not jesus' fault...sometimes it happens...you weren't focused cause you were looking at the birds"
birdman.."i hate you jesus..." he starts pounding on his chest because his mother told him that jesus lives inside you..(ok maybe not him though)
me...."don't worry birdman..jesus will have his hands full one day..don't worry"
I wasn't sure if I should then explain about satan..or if that would ruin the plan.
Birdman..(which describes him to a tee) is obsessed with ..you guessed it..birds. One day in his front yard a daring bird flies and hits the little lad in his chest and falls to his fate in front of birdman. Birdman with such hungry in his eyes picks up the little fella and quickly runs into his house to show his mother what just hit him. Birdman's mother in horror encourages him quickly to run back outside and set the birdie free...knowing what birdman can do to this poor bird. Birdman complies with his mothers wish and runs back outside (she quickly follows) and birdman throws the bird...yep, wrong direction ...on the ground and stomps on it to show his mother the guts....
Birdman is a very disturbed child and that's why he goes to my school. We eventually discover that his mother has been teaching him about Jesus and how he lives in birdmans heart. Which is a great attempt to try and help him with the "killing things" if I shall be so blunt. So it seem to help some with getting him to let the poor bugs free out of his clutch "Jesus made bugs for us to share!" ok...I didn't mind this Jesus stuff, as long as his mother was fine and she started it...great! He did good at listening with the word jesus somewhere in the sentence..nice ..working with him was just a little easier.
We're camping (yes we even take the autistic kids camping for 3 days and 2 hellish nights) and birdman and I are hiking...he see's some birds that he wants to chase and slip...*CRASH** Birdman is down.....
Birdman....(oh and i quote) "Fuck....youuuuu jeesssuuuussssss"..echo..echo..
tons of crying in the middle of the woods
me....(trying not to fall over and cry laughing myself) "Birdman calm down..your ok"
birdman.."why did jesus do this to me?"
me...."uh...birdman..you slipped on the rocks...it's not jesus' fault...sometimes it happens...you weren't focused cause you were looking at the birds"
birdman.."i hate you jesus..." he starts pounding on his chest because his mother told him that jesus lives inside you..(ok maybe not him though)
me...."don't worry birdman..jesus will have his hands full one day..don't worry"
I wasn't sure if I should then explain about satan..or if that would ruin the plan.
posted by Creature Teacher at 4:08 PM
2 Comments:
omg! i woulld have crapped my pants laughing if i had heard him say "fuck you jesus!" that's awesomely baaaaad!
..and then the echo made it harder not to pee right there. Would you go camping in your culottes? ROFL!!!
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