Fighting the half naked woman
I had started a second job and it was my first day on the job at a support care agency. I was to go and sit with this lady for 5 hrs and make sure she took her salad bowl of meds, eat, clean and most of all stay out of trouble. Glorified babysitter for adults with mr/dd!! Perfect..I love this field (it helps me make up my karma...just kidding...maybe not)
I arrive at the home and another co-worker is there to help me get acquainted with this lady. So I notice "slimer" has a chronic sniffling and rubbing her nose problem. ...ech.. alright....and loves to cuss like no one else could do it better! A fisherman's wife perhaps. "fucking bitch" by far was heard every 3 seconds..no joke. After hours of listening to this you have a tendency to pick up on it. So a few hours goes by and the co-worker informs me that she is leaving and the next staff will be in a couple hours....what?..leave me by myself. Yes, she had no problem doing just that. I can do this.... I decide to help her clean up and put laundry away..fucking...fucking...fucking bitch. Cursing was all I heard and then
***WHAM*** a laundry basket hit me.
"OK slimer you must want that over here...I'll just set it here"
she scurries back down the hall and I sit in remorse of what I took on.
**SLAM** here comes another basket and a "fuck you bitch" my way.
"OK slimer I'll set this here....anything else you want to move?"
wrong question...
she started cussing me out again, and the only words you could understand her say were the curse ones..seriously could not understand anything else but the bad ones. So after a thousand "fuck you bitch" I was irritated that she couldn't remember my name. It wasn't "bitch".
"Slimer..honey.. (as slow as possible...like talking to foreign people) My name is creature teacher not bitch...can you say that in a sentence (to help remember, it's the teacher in me)
say..fuck you creature teacher"
slimer looked at me like I was crazy..like it almost kicked her into reality. nope.
Next thing I know she is running around out of control and yelling. I can't help her with her problem because I couldn't understand a dang thing she said (I think she was looking for a particular shirt she liked). All I could do is watch her run around half naked, huge fake satin granny panties on and her "hoo..hoo's" dangleling in the breeze!! She's pissed cause I can't understand her and there is no phone (she likes to rip them out of the wall) and I didn't have a cell (OH I do now). Slimer starts to attack...ok I've done this before...assume protective stance...did it...she grabs the collar of my shirt and starts looking down my shirt at my "sista's"....how rude is that?..she was staring straight at my twins...I told her to stop looking at my chest (men have to pay to see these...and here, she's getting a free gander at them..cheap shot slimer) and then she went for the hair grab. (I thought I was in a jello wrestling contest...half naked lady..staring at my chest...hair pulling.. a little tougher then I'm used to)
So I had to spend the last 15 minutes of my 1st day on the job restraining a lady in her granny panties up against her fridge. Lucky for me the next worker wasn't late or there would've been hell to pay.
I learned 2 things that day...
1) I can now swear with the best of them.
2) beer before liquor never been sicker....is true.
I arrive at the home and another co-worker is there to help me get acquainted with this lady. So I notice "slimer" has a chronic sniffling and rubbing her nose problem. ...ech.. alright....and loves to cuss like no one else could do it better! A fisherman's wife perhaps. "fucking bitch" by far was heard every 3 seconds..no joke. After hours of listening to this you have a tendency to pick up on it. So a few hours goes by and the co-worker informs me that she is leaving and the next staff will be in a couple hours....what?..leave me by myself. Yes, she had no problem doing just that. I can do this.... I decide to help her clean up and put laundry away..fucking...fucking...fucking bitch. Cursing was all I heard and then
***WHAM*** a laundry basket hit me.
"OK slimer you must want that over here...I'll just set it here"
she scurries back down the hall and I sit in remorse of what I took on.
**SLAM** here comes another basket and a "fuck you bitch" my way.
"OK slimer I'll set this here....anything else you want to move?"
wrong question...
she started cussing me out again, and the only words you could understand her say were the curse ones..seriously could not understand anything else but the bad ones. So after a thousand "fuck you bitch" I was irritated that she couldn't remember my name. It wasn't "bitch".
"Slimer..honey.. (as slow as possible...like talking to foreign people) My name is creature teacher not bitch...can you say that in a sentence (to help remember, it's the teacher in me)
say..fuck you creature teacher"
slimer looked at me like I was crazy..like it almost kicked her into reality. nope.
Next thing I know she is running around out of control and yelling. I can't help her with her problem because I couldn't understand a dang thing she said (I think she was looking for a particular shirt she liked). All I could do is watch her run around half naked, huge fake satin granny panties on and her "hoo..hoo's" dangleling in the breeze!! She's pissed cause I can't understand her and there is no phone (she likes to rip them out of the wall) and I didn't have a cell (OH I do now). Slimer starts to attack...ok I've done this before...assume protective stance...did it...she grabs the collar of my shirt and starts looking down my shirt at my "sista's"....how rude is that?..she was staring straight at my twins...I told her to stop looking at my chest (men have to pay to see these...and here, she's getting a free gander at them..cheap shot slimer) and then she went for the hair grab. (I thought I was in a jello wrestling contest...half naked lady..staring at my chest...hair pulling.. a little tougher then I'm used to)
So I had to spend the last 15 minutes of my 1st day on the job restraining a lady in her granny panties up against her fridge. Lucky for me the next worker wasn't late or there would've been hell to pay.
I learned 2 things that day...
1) I can now swear with the best of them.
2) beer before liquor never been sicker....is true.
posted by Creature Teacher at 9:33 AM
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